In the few weeks since I started this site I’ve already managed to earn some hate mail from people who think berating a cartoon sloth is a good use of their time. For this reason I’ve added a disclaimer link on the sidebar. For those of you too busy to move your mouse I present the following as a public service.

Xose’s Opinions

Are my own. They aren’t yours so you don’t get to decide what they are. You don’t even get to decide what they should be. I came by them honestly and I’m proud of them, but not so proud that I won’t change them whenever it suits me, usually to win an argument. If, by some chance, they differ from yours, get over it. I don’t want to hear about it. I don’t need you to tell me I’m wrong: I already know.

Xose’s Obligations

I owe you nothing. I’m not a journalist so I don’t owe you objectivity. I’m a sloth so I don’t owe you regular updates. The site is free and I don’t even owe you that. I reserve the right to spray advertising all over my pages. I also reserve the right to disguise ads as content. And I double dog reserve the right to self-promote like a sonofagun. I don’t owe you facts. I don’t owe you consistency. If you become a member of my audience, don’t expect me to change to please you or to refrain from changing to keep pleasing you.

Xose’s Language

Is ridiculous. It’s also ridiculous that people feel the need to point that out. I make inflammatory statements. I make sweeping generalizations. I’m blunt, rude, self-aggrandizing, and sarcastic. Everyone knows. You don’t need to warn them. I love to antagonize people. Still, I’ve never antagonized anyone who didn’t need it. If you feel antagonized, well…

Finally, an inspirational quote. In the words of Mohandas Gandhi, I’m just a soul whose intentions are good. Oh, Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood.

There. I think it finds the proper balance between conciliatory and intentionally offensive.